Speak Out and Speak Up!

A fire start the other week. It was in a compost heap at an organisation’s backyard. At first I thought it had been set deliberately-after all seeing people burn rubbish these days is hardly an uncommon occurrence. I ignored it for a while. After all, other people, including company employees, had walked by it and done nothing about it. Then it got too big to really ignore and I did not see anyone managing it so I passed a comment to my host. There was momentary panic, there was chaos, there was water and then calm was restored as the blaze was put out. It did, however, take a little while for the fiery words from my host to his staff to simmer down. It had been a spontaneous combustion that can occur with compost heaps, they had all seen it happen but no one had spoken up.

How many times have you held back from asking something or making a suggestion because you are worried that you will not get heard or that nothing will change? You stay silent because you are afraid that there will be a negative consequence to your idea-be it outright rejection, ridicule or worse. In many cases these fears are unfounded and you are more persuasive than you think. Research by Vanessa Bohns indicates that people overestimate the number of times it will take to get a positive response to a simple request by up to double. This held true for simple actions like filling out a questionnaire to something more morally unsound as defacing a library book.

So what keeps our mouths shut? Self-efficacy is your internal appraisal of your ability to do something. Would you be able to climb Kilimanjaro? See, right there you just make an appraisal of yourself. We do it all the time-not just the big things like climbing mountains but whether we can get a proposal out on time or if we can approach a high-profile person with an idea.

Tied strongly to self-efficacy is self-worth. This is the appraisal of whether or not you deserve a positive outcome in your life in response to your actions. If you feel unworthy any positive response feels like a trick or luck of the draw. It does not stop there-people who feel unworthy can project their feelings onto others. These are the people who when they see someone succeed say ‘well he got it because he must have done something dodgy to get it’ without realising the hard work and effort that went in, or that perhaps the other person just had the courage to show up and speak up.

Sometimes showing up is merely half the battle. I entered a competition last month. I won. Part of the reason I won was that I simply showed up and a number of other people who had said they would be there failed to show up. Yes I still had to put in the effort to win but I could equally have stayed in bed because I did not think I was good enough. In line with this is the classic excuse that it is not your job.

Fear of rejection and criticism hold us back from speaking out. We are so attached to our ideas when we put them forward that when they get shot down-even if it is politely- that we take it personally. Then because of the personal hurt we never step out again. ‘He never listens to anything I say anyway’ becomes the mantra of the fearful. Rejection of your suggestion is not a personal attack-well at least it should not be.

If your business culture is the kind where people are fearful of making suggestions to you as the owner then you are probably doing something wrong. One of these is thinking you know it all-and even if you know that you don’t, then you are giving staff the impression that you do. Publically degrading staff suggestions, being rude, shutting down people before they have finished talking, and just not listening at all make people less likely to approach you. Sometimes people just do not know that they can approach you as the owner-you need to create the opportunities for them to do so.

I am not asking for you to create a culture where all people do is complain at staff meetings about their lack of perceived entitlements. Rather work at creating environments where constructive communication can take place. As more people speak up you may be surprised at the positive ideas that begin to flow.