Holiday Shopping

So USA retailers have their hands full over the next few months: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas all provide an opportunity to cash in on the holiday bandwagon. With fancy, themed decor and sales bargains it is no wonder that shoppers are enticed to parting with their cash.

Africa, while not blessed with as many holidays as close together, could learn a little about attracting in shoppers through a little clever marketing. With two months till Christmas your strategy better be pretty clear by now.

Bring Back Freedom

Even if you are not American you will find this inspirational video strikes a chord. Reassess your dreams and if they have died, bring them back to life.

The Minion Balance

Minions of the universe, greetings and salutations! As of 0914 hours it is decreed that screw number R6 will now be inserted into Hole 23 with the left hand and not the right. Immediate compliance is expected. Minions found in violation of this decree will be terminated with maximum brutality.

All “Hail the Chief Officer!” Throughout the factory the voices of a thousand brainwashed slaves plaintively cry out “Hail the Chief Officer” as they continue the mundane task of assembling parts in the minion pool.
Sounds like I have been watching one too many sci-fi movies or spending time in a sweatshop in backwater India.
Not really, all I’ve been doing is reminiscing on how some people run their offices.
Now I have nothing against checklists, they simplify your life.
I do, however, take umbrage with workplaces that are so bureaucratic that you cannot make a decision to sneeze without consulting a manual. On the other extreme facing a person who is incapable of a single independent thought drives me insane, especially if they are working for me. Somewhere, there is a delicate balance between allowing staff the freedom to perform and being able to trust that they will perform in the manner you desire.

The Curious Case of The Skipping Waiter

My eyes were bloodshot and I was sitting with two men that were twice my age. We were solving their organizations issues on 5 pieces of paper and 3 different coloured pens. It was a frenzy of power struggle and politics. I was dodging the undercurrents of tyranny and hoping to bring about an amicable solution that would catapult the organization the the next global level. I was rigid, intense, trying so hard to add value and hoping that when I did it would be given a medal.

Then after hearing the two of them talk back on forth on an idea I presented about "simple internal systems" I lost track of everything. I consciously fell asleep and drifted into my coffee cup. And took a big sip. I looked up all of a sudden and saw a waiter coming to work. He was skipping in to work. SKIPPING! Excited to serve people croissants and coffee. His face had a slapped-on smile that wouldn't go away. He probably rode to work on a bicycle.

I had never skipped to my office. I didn't smile when I greeted my secretary. I didn't care about serving coffee. My accountants had thrown me into the pit of the "bottom line". It's all I could see and pretty much all I could think of. Why didn't I SKIP to work. I mean after all despite the sheer extra physical exertion involved and the fact that skipping has the potential to look undignified there was something about this guy that excited him about his work. He just looked like he wanted to be there.

It got me thinking about my attitude.

Let your attitude be one of giving value. Giving a smile that costs you no more than allowing a few muscles to work. Incidentally the act of smiling has been scientifically validated to improve your happiness. Go on, try it. Smile for 30 seconds. See the emotional change in you? You serve people because you are making their life better, not because you are trying to fill some impossible quota set by the accounts department. You work because you are making a difference in the universe, making it a better place for the rest of us to enjoy with you. That is the sort of attitude that will get you skipping to work.

Declutter Your Life

Eliminate the waste.

Declutter everything; business, home, your equity spread.

Go through your schedule. Cut the meetings that achieve nothing and where you have no contribution.

Keep a travel diary for a week. See where trips can be combined or cut.

Do you really need a sugar filled dessert every night, letting that go may declutter you waistline.

 Go through your investments; where can you cash in those odd little percentages that are doing nothing for you.

Shift through your wardrobe and toss out everything you have not worn in the last year.

 A warning, do not throw out the wife or children during this exercise (unless perhaps the children are 34, drive a better car than you, and still stay at home).

NBC Olympic coverage fail.

In the USA at the moment, failing to enjoy the Olympics because of the time delay coverage. I am however reveling in the internet barrage of NBC on various social media over their coverage (or rather lack of it) for the games. You can read a bunch of their glorious bloopers here .

Due to the massive US bias on broadcasting here (which is probably not a bad thing for a compan broadcasting to a US audience) it is rather difficult to find broadcasts that showcase athletes from home in Zimbabwe (unless there is an American in the race of course). I don't object to the American bias on NBC, I just object to not being able to get a second opinion. Almost all other sources are blocked out including the normally pervasive Youtube. I cannot access a BBC, or a European Olympic broadcast at all (unless of course i go throught the pain of trying to work through a proxy server). Reminds me of George Orwell's 1984 when the only veiwpoint you can access is that of the 'official' channels.

The way I see it is that it is pretty much a form of censorship, but one that has been paid for rather than implemented by a government body.

Villan or Hero

You never hang out with people that hate you, why would you do that? People that hate you are wrong, right? We love to surround ourselves with people that tell us how good we are, not how bad we are. No one ever wakes up and says, “I’m a bad guy”. When you take your kids to the movies your son doesn’t walk away saying that he wants to grow up and be the villan; of course not. No, we all want to be the rescuing hero – the one who everyone applauds. So we constantly surround ourselves with those who affirm us as good people. Unfortunately we rarely take a candid introspective look at ourselves and ask, “Am I a bad guy?”  Maybe you wake up saying, “I’m not a bad guy.” Well, I beg to differ if you do any of the following.

You’re a bad guy…

1. If you’re giving people a reason to sue you. If you’ve signed a contract and haven’t kept to it, changed the terms, or haven’t paid. If you’re not answering your phone, you’ve changed your address and you’re in process of changing your name too, then you’re a yellow bellied bad guy. You’re the villain in that movie.
2. If you are suing 2 or more people right now for the wrong reasons. Be the bigger man, cut your losses. Improve your judgements of people and business deals. Where you can try solve issues out of court.
3. If you give poor customer service. You own a restaurant and charge $4 for a rock-shandy, you serve crappy coffee, your workplace is dirty and your receptionist is rude and addicted to Facebook. Jack up your act!
4. If you have said in the past week, “It’s not personal it’s just business” as you take someone for a ride. People are business and business is people. If you take advantage of someone’s helplessness or ignorance and sell something with a 200% mark up, you are plain greedy.
5. If you are trying to get a large cut of every deal that you come across. Understand your value. For a change, try helping people with no expectation of getting anything back.
6. If you are offering loans at more than 15% per month. Even if it's legal, high interest rates are crippling us, especially when inflation figures are reported as much lower.
7. If you litter. Disease spreading vermin leave rubbish everywhere so unless you are a rodent just stop leaving trash lying around. While you are at it, stop your friend next to you. Have a little pride and keep things beautiful.
8. If you’re not a security guard yet you demand money for “watching cars.” Although you’ll probably never read this, get a real job you lazy beggar. Stop hassling productive citizens.

If you get offended reading the list, perhaps you should have a look at what you can change. I can hear another self-righteous idealist chiding me saying, “Why aren’t you talking about anything good? Why aren’t you talking about all the good guys?” Well, I actually am. If you’re not doing these bad things, you’re probably a good guy. I like you well done!