You Doing You...Rocks: The Confidence to Step Out

I hit a game-changer this weekend. I had a significant ‘Ah-ha’ moment that shook my paradigm and I want to share it with you. I was MCing an event this past weekend for a group of professionals. It was well organized, all the speakers were on time with their material, and it flowed rather well. During the afternoon break a couple of people came up and complimented me on how I was doing. I smiled and thanked them, but the problem was that inside I was dying quietly. I did not really think that it was going that well, I did not feel I was connecting with the audience. All in all I was rather dissatisfied with my performance. I relayed this to a friend of mine later that night. He threw a quote back at me that blew me away. He said ‘Just keep doing You. You doing You…Rocks!’

That was it. End of discussion. I did not have to try harder, up my game, fake it on the stage. He had seen me MC before, knew I had the skills and ability. All I had to do was get out there and do what I already did; openly, without shame or reservation. 

When can you be you? It is easy to be self critical and say ‘well if people saw the real me they would hate it’. Instead we put up walls to stop people connecting in case they get to close. We shy away from taking up positions of responsibility because we feel unready for them, because we are not perfect. At the other extreme we know we are not perfect so we fake it, and we fake it so much that we forget who we really are and live a life that is a series of lies with no call to accountability.

I am not suddenly saying there is no room for personal growth. I could have done a better job MCing, there are a couple of points that I need to fix next time in presenting. That part of growth will always be there. However, I can have the confidence to step out, as me, with my personality, my way of doing things and have a significant impact. So how can I continue to be the best ‘Me’, how can you be the best ‘You’?

One of the big hindrances to stepping out where we are now is our past. Our fear of previous failures and thoughts of what people may think of ‘the boy from the rural areas’ hinder us from doing our best work. Embrace your backstory and move forward from it. Your backstory, the bit in your life about where you came from, can be the most powerful storytelling tool you have. You cannot live in your past, but you can use it to propel long lasting and meaningful change. Not only that, it makes a great story; one that inspires others. The story of the CEO who used to walk to work in the founding days of him company resonates with us. Being comfortable with your past, being open about how it has helped you become who you are today is part of being comfortable with ‘You’. Many people, when they look at their lives, find something to be passionate about rooted deep within an experience in their past.

You have to be passionate about what you do. If you are not passionate about your business and the transformation it is making in it and through it I doubt that you will be either happy or successful. People can tell when you do not have a passion for something and will fail to connect. Millennials; people born 1980 to the mid 2000’s, don’t just want a competitive salary, they want to be connected to something bigger than themselves. This applies to them as both as employees and as clients. Being you means allowing that passion to the forefront of your life.

Tied to passion is motive. What drives you? Making money or making a difference? Great motives are not self-serving. Donald Trump is steamrolling ahead in the US Republican primaries because he is coming across as motivated about people. Regardless of your personal opinion about him, his ‘Make America Great Again’ campaign has gained appeal among voters because the message it brings is looking to build up citizens to positions of success; the perceived motive is less about him attaining presidency (he already has success and money) and more about what the people stand to gain. 

The motive that keeps you going when under pressure is one that is less about you and more about others. A personal motive is easy to give up on because the only person it affects is you. When you have set a motives about changing the lives of others you are less likely to quit because the success of others rests on your success. If my motive when on stage is about me looking good as an MC then I will fail to deliver, if it is about the crowd having a great interactive experience that connects them to the material then it changes the way I behave. 

Under times of pressure it is easy to let passions be stifled or to twist motives to the most basic and self-serving. I am encouraging you today to begin the task of recalibrating. Rekindle that which you are passionate about and see where you can bring it to bear in the position you are in-especially if you have taken on a job just because it is something to bring an income and not something that excites you.

Each day we pass up opportunities to do our best work because of fear. Do not let that happen today. Unleash your A-game into your work and life wholeheartedly and completely. Remember just keep doing You. Because you doing You…Rocks!

Toxic Teammates: The Wrecking Balls of Company Culture

Team Culture matters. It matters big. Someone can recreate your product, but if they cannot recreate your culture behind its success it is unlikely they will beat you in the field. Of course if they have a more constructive culture well they may just whip the rug out under your feet.

 One of the greatest impacts on team culture is not external but internal; from the very members themselves. Every now and again you are going to find that you have a Toxic Teammate. Like a poorly maintained commuter omnibus this individual spews toxic fumes through your team via their words and behaviour. Left unchecked they can pollute those around them and derail your efforts. 

The Critic as their name implies criticises everything. I mean everything. They are incredibly negative with nothing good to say about work, business, or the world in general. Every suggestion gets shut down by fault finding, every circumstance is a disaster and if they had their way we should all stay in bed every day because life is a miserable failure. Except of course that if you stay in bed you may choke on your pillow. There is no pleasing these people. Overtime their negativity infects others who in turn start failing to see any silver lining.

The Passive sits in the corner, unengaged, disconnected, and waits. They offer no input, wait to be volunteered, and have no motivation. They may go as far as fiddling with their phone or tablet during the meeting and if they were not there, well no one would miss them.

The Blamer, as opposed to The Passive, is often eager to volunteer. He promises high but rarely delivers. When he fails to perform somehow it is never his fault. There is always an excuse and some circumstance to blame for his laziness and ineptitude. What is worse is that he genuinely believes the excuses-he is not making them up. If he can get away with it, others will think they can too.

The Know-it-all never shuts up. This is the Deadpool of the team, just not as funny. Their opinion on how we should do it is broadcast loudly and incessantly. They offer help that is unsolicited but inappropriate. Often they do not have the expertise or skill to back up what they are saying. These are the characters that when they open their mouth in a meeting, and they will, that everyone groans inwardly. They believe they are helping, that they are useful yet often they are a distraction. Their inability to filter their input means that anything truly meaningful they say gets lost in the babble.

The Captain of the World is the pedantic rule bearer. They follow a complex set of laws that cannot be bent or changed. Say you get to the canteen and there is no one else there. Instead of going through the long set of railings that keep the usual queues in order you pop underneath them to get to the front. The Captain of the World is the person who complains and insists you go through them. These are people unwilling to change. They are motivated by a deep internal fear that something will go wrong and project this onto everyone else. 

Each type of Toxic Teammate needs to be dealt with. For many of us, we occasionally portray some of the behaviours outlined above. It is unlikely that most Toxics start out that way, they develop overtime as dissolution, laziness and entitlement creep into their mind-set.

Be on your guard for such behaviour in your life and in those of your teammates. Call out negative behaviour. Reward the positive. In calling it out, start by doing so privately. Deal with any root issues or circumstances that may have changed and caused a rise in the toxicity level. If it persists then you may need to have a more aggressive approach.

Act! Do not wait. Toxic behaviour spreads if not managed. Remove the Critic. Find a way to engage The Passive, consider moving them to another team or role that they are passionate about. Call the Blamer to account. Give the Know-it-all strict guidelines and parameters of operation. Get the Captain of the World to relinquish his title (or put them in charge of your Health and Safety Program where their pettiness may be useful).

We are all happier without toxic pollution in our lives and in our teams. Teams are made up of real people, with real issues. Facing them can be messy but it is far easier to plug a hole in a leaking barrel early than it is to clean up an entire oil spill.

Surviving Attrition : Avoiding Burn Out in Business

I woke this morning and drew back the curtains to find it grey and overcast outside. A drip from the gutter reinforced the fact that there was a fine drizzle that hazed the view. Inwardly I groaned at the thought of another dull day; the drip in the drainpipe echoing the drip of heaviness in my heart. On the way to work a streetkid, braving the damp in his tattered clothing, knocked at my window. Drip. I got held up at no less than three roadblocks checking for radio licences. Drip. The headlines that I drove past screamed of turmoil and shortage. Drip. I got to the office to find that a large order had just been cancelled. Drip. My bank had emailed me to inform me that another piece of paper was required in order to fulfil an external payment. Drip. The rent was due. I could go on. The continual drip of negativity and pressure is a slow attrition on a man’s soul. 

Attrition has multiple meanings in business. At its basic level attrition refers to loss and wearing down. Staff attrition refers to the voluntary leaving of staff due to events like retirement or seeking greener pastures. Client attrition refers to the loss of clients from your business and is a metric some businesses track. Attrition of the soul, however, you are not going to find in a list of business definitions. It is the wearing down of the drive and desire of a person. It is subtle and lethal to businesses. Unchecked it can lead to the tipping point where someone just throws in the towel with their business-even if there was still a chance of the company surviving the pressures it is under. This is the effect that leads to one last straw causing someone to crack under pressure with an ‘I just can’t take it anymore’. Let’s be honest-we are all under a lot of pressure these days, especially if you are doing business in Africa.

We will all have days when we wake up to find that our ‘get up and go’ has already got up and left before we could get started with the day. How do we survive the situation when the pressures of life and work threaten to make this a daily occurrence?

Start with a clear and passionate vision that is stronger than your trials. Focusing on the daily and menial can take your focus off the vision you had when you first started the company. Cynicism replaces exuberance as stumbling blocks come your way. Rekindle the spark. What are you passionate about? What makes you leap inside? Focus on that. Perhaps you need to retweak the plan or look at fulfilling the vision in a slightly different way.

Attitude matters in an attrition rich environment. Seeing opportunities rather than failures is often a matter of perspective. That cancelled order can free you up to take on another project. That product you are having to import-perhaps there is an opportunity for you to manufacture it locally. Yes, it will take effort to stay positive in the face of so much. One way is to embrace thankfulness. Gratitude resets your internal focus. Be grateful for the work that you do have rather than whining about how much you do not have. Be grateful that you have staff that are loyal enough to tolerate a few days delay in their salaries-and then pay them. 

On the topic of staff, it is easier to stay positive is you have a positive company culture. If all your managers and employees are complaining alongside you at the unfairness of life, the economy and the universe in general it is easy to have a ‘bitch fest’  Your vision needs your culture to survive. Reinforce those behaviours that promote the reaching of your vision and goal.

Embrace a strong external support network. This could be your church, your friends, and your family. We are not alone on this road through life, nor do I think we are meant to walk it in isolation.  Like-minded people with similar values and a positive outlook on life can pick you up when you are feeling down. Every now and again we need to ride on someone else’s faith for a short while till we are strong enough to step out on our own. Likewise there are people around you who may need a word of encouragement from you to help them get through their day.

The drip will probably be around for a while. There will always be circumstances that can wear you out if you are not careful. Build inner resilience and perseverance in order to survive.

One last tip here. There are certain health issues that can make it harder to be positive as they sap your energy. Parasitic infections, low vitamin levels, and a myriad of other conditions can make life very difficult and you may not be aware that you have them. If you are not well physically it is an extra burden that adds to the drip on your soul. Go see your health care provider, get checked out and treated appropriately. Then with renewed vigour take on the world.